Have you been bullied? You are So Much More than this experience!
By Wendy Collier, B. Ed.
Being on the receiving end of bullying situations is a horrible feeling. You will feel embarrassed, ashamed and you may have this feeling of being ‘small.’ You will wonder if you did something to deserve it. You will wonder if it is true. Are you a bad person? Are you not good enough?
Your self-esteem will take a big hit and you will begin to feel unworthy of good things. Don’t let this happen to you and your friends.
4 Steps to Go from Bullied to Brave
- Acknowledge the feelings.
- Express the feelings.
- Let it go.
- Move forward.
It is very normal to feel all of your feelings and you will go through a wide range of them which may include any or all of these: anger, fear, self-pity, sadness, doubt, frustration, anxiety, even terrified. So, allow yourself to simply feel and acknowledge the feelings by saying to yourself, “I feel terrified; or I feel angry; or I feel sad.”
There’s a part of you that will feel very defensive and will want to fight back. This is a very natural instinct as humans and it is a good thing, not a bad thing. It is okay to think about what you could have said or did differently, but don’t dwell on it and DO NOT criticize or judge yourself as being a ‘bad person.’ Everyone thinks about things they could have said or done differently but that does not make them a bad person for not saying or doing those things, it simply makes them ‘human.’
Once you have worked through the clutter of emotions, you can begin to move forward. Part of moving forward is learning from the situation. Here are the action steps you can take to achieve forward motion.
A.C.T.I.O.N. Steps: Take the time to think about and write down your answers to these questions:
“What did I learn from this experience?”
“What did I learn about myself as a person?”
“What would I do differently next time?”
Write these on a file card and read them often:
“I did not do anything to deserve this.”
“There’s nothing I did to feel embarrassed and ashamed of.”
“I am a good person and I am good enough.”
“I am worthy of good things, good people, and good experiences. And I accept those with grace and gratitude.”
Most bullying experiences are a small part of your whole life experiences. You have much to look forward to; that is why it is important for you to process your feelings and go through the healing experience.
YOU deserve to be happy. You ARE a good person. You are WORTHY of being free.